Thursday, October 27, 2011

Reassurance

In this moment
I wait for the reassurance
That the seeming stillness before me
Will be filled with the vigour of ages past.
That the future of countless memories
Will get a shot at survival.
That jigsaws have a legitimate existence
As broken pieces.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Long road to gratefulness

Will I be grateful only...
For the crispness of spring
The sunshine on my back
A free day to take a long walk
The occasional novel thrown in
A satisfying day of work
And an email long overdue
For a dainty tea party
A cook-out with friends

Will I be grateful?
For deadlines and feverish writing
And a mind that loves to wander
Days that feel like years
The sudden pangs of loneliness
A stack of dirty dishes by the sink
Food appetizing to none
For pricking conscience and over-zealous moments
Every plan waylaid

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Life

wouldn't be as interesting if it was not lived in the head

Friday, April 1, 2011

Looking forward

It's a sunny day in London and I can hear someone strumming on an electric guitar somewhere in the flat above me. And for reasons that I can't fathom, it makes me want to write. What exactly? I have no clue. Probably, it's just the world seems so much nicer, now that I can smell and taste again (Dad's medication sure is working). Or for some reason, the strumming, gets me thinking of my first days in London and stirs up that feeling of looking forward to things - at that time, it was about what my classes and classmates were going to be like, whether I would like living in London..you get the drift. Today, those jazz chords are making me want to hope at a stage when things are set to change, yet again.

True, it's only half-way through the year, but my core classes have ended, which officially means that I will never be sitting in my Transnational class with the 27 people from so many different part of the globe. Did we become friends for a life-time over 20 weeks of 3-hour lectures, presentations and heated debates amongst such strong-minded opinionated people? Will we all ever meet up again? I don't know, I have my doubts, despite all the promises of meeting up and getting together again. But, I did feel a twinge of sadness, when we had our last class combined with a pot luck lunch two days ago. The feeling when good things have ended and you resurrect them in your memory, to hold onto them.

For today though, I want to hold on to that feeling of looking forward to newness - setting up my own study schedules, motivating myself to keep up with timelines and figuring out whether I can be a disciplined person when left to myself. Only time will tell. But I hope the feeling lasts!

P.S Prof Dave Morley says: We spend our lives doing things that help us regain elements of an (often idealised) past. And though, I've chosen to paraphrase him somewhat inaccurately and out of context, I just felt the need to add that line, for some apparent or non-apparent reason.
P.P.S It's nice to see the sun still shining in London at 6.30 pm. How I love day-light saving time!
Sayonara for the day folks.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Ode to Grey's Anatomy


Like heaps of other people on the planet, I began my tryst with Grey's Anatomy a few months ago. Now I've never been the sort to follow a drama to the extent of checking when the next episode would be aired but this time, I've caught the fever and its extremely frustrating to see how slowly Season 7 has been progressing. Now, given that this is not usual LMT behaviour, a couple of friends have been asking me about what makes GA the exception.

To you dear ladies, I say:
While McDreamy, Richard, Addision, Lexie, Izzie, Miranda, Arizona, Mark, Alex and their innumerable patients have been great, what makes it even more worthwhile for me to dedicate 40 minutes once a week are Cristina Yang and Meredith Grey. Probably because Cristina Yang as she appears in Season 1, epitomises the kind of life I thought I could live. Where you have one goal and you make it your life's motive to follow it, and everything else recedes into the background. Decisions appear so easy to make when you look at it the Cristina way.

In stark contrast to Cristina's single-mindedness is Meredith and her gazillion issues, living in shadow of her mother's greatness, her inappropriate relationship with Derek Shepherd, coping with her mother's Alzheimer's, forging new relationships with Lexie, her father, Richard and so on. And as much as the series is about Cristina expanding the scope of her world to include things and people and emotion, it is also about Meredith learning to face things head on and prioritising what she wants, instead of running away from everything. At many levels, the show advocates for me the ideal of balance, that too little or too much of things can wreak havoc.

What I also like is that Shonda Rhimes (whoa, I know the name of the lady who does the screenplay) doesn't have any perfect women as her central characters. Take Addison Montgomery, who has it all in terms of looks and professional success, but can't juggle it with a successful relationship, or Miranda Bailey whose difficult marriage and eventual status as a single mother, makes it impossible for her to take up research in paediatrics. To me, every women in the series represents a different step on the ladder, professionally and personally, they face difficult choices and live with the consequences, tough though it may seem. Which is why I watch it, even though it often sends me on a tear-roll!

Add to the storyline a few good looking men, and voila! you have a winning TV drama, I guess.

P.S: Who ever thought I would dedicate an entire blogpost to a TV drama.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Why

are so many people shutting down blogs that I've grown used to reading? It's grossly unfair.

(Sve, you've inspired me to attempt the one-line post. In my best London Tipton style, Yay Sve!)

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

I can't remember the last time, I heard someone use this proverb but it's certainly been lurking in the recesses of my mind for the last two weeks. Why? I don't know...but in my head, it's always followed by my dad's signature suggestion: Talk less and do more.
Now, I'm not talking of hell in a place of flaming fire sort of way. Its more at the metaphorical level of the torment that I put myself through because of the innumerable number of good intentions/plans that I set out for myself all the time: to wake up early, give myself regular hours to read for classes, to systematically work on the dissertation, to start figuring out the essays for end of term submissions, to make time to shed those excess calories, to make it for mid week church meetings, to keep up with news and big media happenings, to find a part time job and to cook everyday.
My problem is that I go on an excessive guilt drive when I don't finish what I set out to do on a particular day. And when that happens for a couple of days continuously [during reading week for instance, when I read two entire novels (in my defense, I have read NO fiction for the last six months, which is a LONG TIME!)], I come out feeling so bad that neither chocolate, crisps, diet coke or a new episode of Grey's Anatomy or How I met your mother can make me feel any better. And yet I laze and let the torment continue.
But I'm sick of all this mental tamasha and want to be feel what I felt in a few days in December: the sheer joy of finishing what I sent out to do, of studying without getting distracted, of converting my good intentions into concrete plans and of talking a little less (People who know me well will appreciate the enormity of this decision!). Today's the first day in my race away from metaphorical hell. Wish me luck people!